Assertiveness is the quality of being self-assured and confident without being aggressive. It is a skill and a mode of communication; like any other skill it can be learned until it become a habit and an innate part of you. This can be learned in childhood but adults also can learn how to become more assertive at any age.
You would benefit from assertiveness training if you find difficult to say what you feel or think or are unable to stand up for yourself in a calm and relaxed way.
Usually becoming assertive is directly linked to becoming more fearless because passive people tend to suffer from different fears such as:
• Fear of injury
• Fear of failure
• Fear of hurting other people’s feelings
• Fear of rejection
• Fear of financial insecurity
• Fear of isolation
It can affect every part of their lives – work, friendships, and relationships. Unfortunately in this technological age many people lack assertiveness due to the pressures from society to conform to the values or beliefs of the majority, the constant pressure to behave and look a certain way and the pressure of accepting society beliefs or being considered an outsider.
Being able to voice your opinion and stand up for yourself sends off signals to manipulative people (interfering relatives, workplace bullies, pushy sales people) that you won’t be coerced into anything.
With the appropriate training you will be able to:
• Feel free to express your feelings, thoughts, and desires.
• have healthy relationships with other people
• Have control over your anger; you won’t repress any feelings but are able to control them and talk about it in a calm and reasoning manner.
• Compromise if necessary and not always want your own way
• Have friendships and relationships where your needs count, as well as taking into account other’s needs.
• Have good self-esteem
• Know and express your rights