These are some of the most common ones:
• Premature ejaculation
• Psychogenic impotence (erectile dysfunction)
• Anorgasmia
• ‘Frigidity’
• Vaginismus
Causes of sexual and orgasmic disorders:
• Anxiety
• HRT ( hormone replacement therapy) can affect
• Diabetes
• Underactive thyroid
• Depression
• Emotional issues about pleasure and about receiving
• Hysterectomy or gynaecological issues
• Long term fertility treatment
• Certain medication
• Cultural and religious beliefs
• Guilt and shame
• Shyness – believing that they should do something in a certain way or time
• History of sexual abuse
• Low self-esteem
• Too much pressure
How can hypnotherapy deal with these issues?
I only deal with issues for which there is no physical cause. If a person has diabetes, underactive thyroid or real imbalance in their hormones, first they should treat this condition as that might resolve their problem. For others who started to have these issues after being prescribed antidepressants, they might need to get back to their doctor to get medication changed or reduced.
First of all, we’ll look at the beliefs, emotions, thoughts, feelings that the client has about their sex life and about anything in particular that troubles them.
I work holistically with the whole person as sexual disorders are rarely just about sex; usually there are lots of other things going on in that person’s life. With Rational Emotive Cognitive Behaviour Hypnotherapy, we look into the beliefs and attitudes, painful emotions and dysfunctional behaviours that are affecting that person; some people might avoid sex, intimacy or even relationships; for some others their expectations are based on what they have seen on internet, films and media in general. Once the client accepts new healthy beliefs and attitudes, we work on the subconscious level so that they become automatic and natural for that person.
Anxiety –in many cases, this is the cause of the issue and hypnotherapy is the best therapy for reducing any feelings of anxiety or nervousness.
Education is also very important, so I’ll make sure that they have all the information. That will help them to understand what they want exactly, their physiology, the sexual functions, how the body works, how they experience arousal, what their expectations are, when they feel something is going wrong, etc. Having the right information takes pressure off people as it gives them choice and empowers them to fully let go and surrender to the experience. They understand that there is no ‘normal’. Once they learn and accept their sexual functions and how their whole body can erogenous, they can also learn how to intensify and control these feelings.
Releasing shame and guilt: some people might have experienced shame when they touched themselves as children; other people might have been shamed from having or not having sex. In almost all cases, I’ll do inner child work with them to help them to be free of these negative emotions and beliefs.
Trauma: Obviously, there isn’t always trauma, but if there is we have to address that and release anything that does not serve you, giving yourself permission for pleasure. Sex abuse can be the origin of the trauma but in most cases it’s not; trauma can actually be about anything. The techniques I use to address this are EMDR and EMIT.
Communication is also key and we might have to work on assertiveness and confidence; what it’s happening it’s not a judgment on you or your partner; honesty is always the best policy so it’s important to be able to communicate effectively and sincerely with the partner, saying what you need, when, how, etc. Sharing the experiences with your partner always leads to better sex.
The most important thing of all is that as a result of having a satisfying sex life people end up feeling better about themselves and about their lives.
